A New Beginning

I’ve been thinking about writing a blog for a while.  I’ve started a few before, but I never lasted more than a few posts.  And, I think before now, I never really had a purpose for writing.  My life was easy – no real challenges, nothing exciting.  And, there’s nothing wrong with that.  I loved my boring life.  I had things that didn’t go my way, but I never had a critical, life-altering experience.  Somehow everything seemed to fit in the plan that I had made for my life: go to college, meet a boy, fall in love, get married, and start a family.

My life changed on March 16th, 2012 when I found out my baby no longer had a heartbeat.  I was exactly 1 week past my due date, and in an instant, the baby I had looked forward to meeting for 9 months was gone.  At that moment, heart-wrenching grief entered my life.  I have spent the last 7 months getting used to my new and constant companion, and today, it’s time for a new beginning.  This grief will always be with me and will always be a part of me because I will always love and miss my beautiful daughter.  But, it’s time for me to stop living as one who is defeated because I serve a God who makes all things new.

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “A New Beginning

  1. Sue

    I know your words will help many who are enduring the loss of their precious ones. Your words will also help others understand & learn how to reach out to those who are hurting. Thankful for a God who declares that He has plans for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future.

  2. Devyn

    Not a day goes by that I don’t think of Hannah’s beautiful little face. She lives forever in our hearts. I love you!

  3. Jenny Murray

    What you wrote made me cry! I know how hard this has been on you and it broke my heart to see you struggle!! I am glad that you are going to try and move foreword and I know you will struggle but you have your family and friends who are here for you. I love you, Zach and Precious Hannah will always be part of my life!! I love you!!

  4. Denise Dunaway

    I am so proud of you! God has and will continue to use you in a mighty way through the loss of precious Hannah. I am so thankful that you know Christ as your Lord and Savior and that you know one day you will spend eternity in heaven with her. I am here to rejoice with you on your new beginning and will continue to pray that both you and Zack will not live a life of defeat, but one of faith, hope, and love!!!

  5. Beautiful words, written by a beautiful person.

  6. Laura-Jean Estes

    I hope that you days are getting easier. We pray for y’all every night. My rough days are getting few and far between. But it brings me great joy in my heart that our sweet girls are together waiting for use to join them in Paradise. With that thought, It Is Well With My Soul. We love y’all

    • Laura Jean, You have no idea how often we think of you guys. It’s strange because I never thought I’d be able to process what happened, but like you said, my really bad days are getting few and far between. And, I know that’s God at work. I love that our girls are living life more abundantly than they ever could have on earth and are waiting for us to be with them again. Love y’all so much!

  7. Tara

    I cant imagine what your going thru or have. but I think its wonderful you are willing to move forward even though it so hard.. your a amazing and strong person

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